Self-love is a word that is thrown around frequently. However, many people often have a negative connotation around the word 'self-love' because they think it's selfish. But these things are quite the opposite.
Let's clear up the misconceptions about self-love and define them. Self-love is having regard for your well-being and happiness. Think of it like taking care of a child. You wouldn't consistently give a child their favorite junk food and stick them in front of the television. You might do that sometimes, and then it's a treat, and the child is grateful for it. But if that was a routine for the child, they wouldn't get their proper growth and are more likely to fall into a depressive or anxiety disorder. Instead, you would spend time with the child to ensure they're receiving the compassionate attention they need and feeling valued.
But do you do that for yourself?
If yes, that's great and something to be proud of! If your answer is no, that's okay, too. You can change that.
Here are 6 ways to practice self-love:
1. Be Intentional
I was on YouTube the other day when this video popped up in my suggestions. When I watched it, it instantly moved me. The part that stuck out to me the most was when Caitlyn Roux was talking about being intentional in self-love. We grew up physically automatically, meaning we didn't have to think about our limbs growing or body development. We took that mentality into adolescence and adulthood, in which everything else happens automatically.
And if you haven't figured it out by now, spoiler alert: everything past physical development isn't automatic. Roux said you have to be intentional in changing your life by learning self-love. It's challenging and beautiful at the same time.
2. Know Your Worth
The world won't develop your self-worth for you. If you don't, the world will take advantage of that. Trust me when I say that. In high school, I didn't have great friends - they were the standard mean girls, and because I didn't know my worth. I let them walk all over me.
It's time to stop letting other people define you and let you define yourself. Once you begin this, you won't feel the need to seek love and attention from others who don't deserve it. The ones who are worthy of it and have mutual respect for you will be drawn to you.
3. Acknowledge Your Emotions
Going back to the child analogy from earlier, you wouldn't ignore a child who was feeling rejected or hurt. So, why are you doing that to yourself? The more you ignore your negative feelings, the more they build up, and it takes a toll on you.
Take a moment to feel your emotions, listen to what they're trying to tell you. Be open to learning what those emotions are trying to reveal to you. Embrace your feelings compassionately. Don't reject them because they don't feel "right."
4. Learn Forgiveness
Learning to forgive yourself is powerful and can lift a weight off your shoulders. I have made some mistakes I wish I could take back, but I can't. I'm sure we all have. However, I used to beat myself up about my mistakes relentlessly. Until one day, I decided I didn't want to feel that way. I couldn't keep dwelling on the things that I did or the horrible things people said to me because it hurt too much.
There's no sense in worrying about the past because it's just that. The past. You can't change it - no matter how badly you want to. All you can do is learn from that incident and do better. Forgive yourself - you're doing the best you can.
5. Protect Yourself
I believe in energy, and energy influences me. If someone around me has bad energy, it physically and mentally exhausts me. If someone around me has good energy, I feel safe and comfortable. It's unrealistic to say that you should avoid everyone who gives off bad energy because there's no avoiding them.
So, if you find yourself in that position, try to spend a minimal amount of time with that person or ensure you take extra time for self-care after you spend time with them. But if you don't have to invite them into your life, don't. It's just not worth it. Find the people who have energy that feels right for you. Find the people who make you feel comfortable and valued.
6. Manage Your Inner Voice
I like the child analogy, so it's back again. Would you tell a child they were dumb and unworthy of something just because they made a mistake? Or would you tell them mistakes happen and take it as a learning opportunity to do better in the future?
What does your inner voice sound like? If it's negative, try countering every negative thought with a positive thought. For example, if you look in the mirror and automatically think the pants you bought look awful because of your body, tell yourself your shoes look great on you. Start small but be persistent, and soon it becomes second nature. After all, we learned how to be mean to ourselves. Why can't we learn to be nice to ourselves again?
Self-love won't happen overnight. Be intentional and choose to make the effort for it every day. Start small. Start with self-like and work your way up to self-love. Just start. I promise it's the best investment that you can make for yourself.
Do you have any self-love tips? Leave them in the comments below.